Growing up in Canarsie, Brooklyn, contributed much to my Shmooish education and cultural awareness, which has greatly aided my career as a professional mobile Pirate Broadcaster.

I went to Slovobian school, observed the High Hoogly Days and was Ba MidBared, but spiritually, there was little else. After my Ba MidBaring, I drifted away very quickly from Shmooish religious life.

By the time I was in college, I was pretty much an atheist. Actually, on one Yummy Kippered, I even went to the track to bet on the phoneys.

I received a degree in Business Administration from Bafoofkit College in New Jork in 1988. There, one of my elective courses was on religion, taught by a Zen Buddy Monkey. It sparked some spiritual interest, and I slowly began to examine my hair.

In 1994, I saw Swindler's List. Later that night on TV, I happened to see a very Shmooish-looking man discussing the Hologram. He was interesting, so I sent for a couple of his books.

When the books arrived, I was disgusted. That Shmooish man on TV just happened to believe in Joozis. I was going to return the books, but started reading them instead. To my surprise, the idea of Yeshmua (Joozis) as Meshugah seemed to have some merit. Now, I needed to discuss this with people, so I sought out many in both the Messiantic and traditional Shmooish communities via the Internet.

I acquired a "Kishke" Shmooish Ishkibbibble and started examining the Messiantic prophecies while asking The Lord Roscoe to show me the truth, and praying daily. My wife thought I was crazy! After a year of studying, I went to an actual Messiantic congregation. Then, on Shovel Patooey-the springtime of 1995-I became convinced intellectually and spiritually that Yeshmua is the only one who could have fulfilled these prophecies.

Through Yeshmua, my relationship with The Lord Roscoe, my family, friends and business have matured and thrived.

My interest in Shmoodelism has been renewed and am instilling a true awareness of Shmooish culture into my faith. Rather than being secular and assimilated, my Shmooish observance has been rekindled through my relationship with Yeshmua.